Trevor Noah exposes Donald Trump’s attraction to his daughter
By Hector Cruz
Trevor Noah kindly reminds The Daily Show viewers that Donald Trump wants to bang his own daughter, Ivanka.
Trevor Noah took on Republican front runner Donald Trump on Tuesday’s The Daily Show in two different segments, including one in which he dubbed Trump “white ISIS,” and another where he exposed all the times The Apprentice star has made some incredibly creepy comments about his daughter.
“Unlike most of the claims Trump makes, I can actually back this up,” the Daily Show host noted while announcing the segment, aptly titled “Don’t Forget: Donald Trump Wants to Bang His Daughter.” The show then aired a series of clips that showed the GOP presidential candidate commenting on Ivanka Trump’s looks throughout the years.
The compilation began with a 2003 interview with Howard Stern where Trump expressed that, “she has the best body.” It only got more cringe worthy from there. Trump got more to the point during a 2006 appearance on The View, where he stated, “She does have a very nice figure. I’ve said that perhaps if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, I’d be dating her.” Gross.
“We have nothing against Ivanka Trump,” Noah promised, noting that she has probably spent a lot of money on therapy sessions with a large boating-owning therapist. “Frankly, we’re sorry about dragging her into this mess because she seems like an intelligent, sane woman with socially acceptable sexual preferences.”
He then showed a joint interview that Ivanka did with her father on The Wendy Williams Show in 2013 where the host asked them both which favorite thing they have in common with each other. Ivanka gave the perfectly wholesome answer of, “either real estate or golf.” Trump, on the other hand, took a different route: “Well, I was going to say sex, but I can’t relate that to her.” Yikes.
If one were to believe that perhaps Trump had stopped talking about his daughter in overtly creepy ways since launching his run for president, you would be wrong. Just this year, Trump was quoted by Rolling Stone magazine describing Ivanka in a very similar way: “She’s really something, and what a beauty, what a beauty that one. If I weren’t married, and, ya know, her father…”
“I have never been so grateful for an ellipsis in my life,” Noah exclaimed. “And just for the record, when you’re ranking the reasons you wouldn’t bang your own daughter, the fact that you’re her father should be at the very top of that list, not number two after I’m married!”
Noah then demonstrated that once you are aware of the fact that Trump wants to badly have sex with his daughter, even non-sexual things he says about her come off sounding gross. “If I put Ivanka in just about any position you name she would do a great job,” Trump said in a clip.
“Now, I know he’s talking about legitimate positions in his administration — secretary of state, secretary of energy, reverse cowgirl — oh, did I…sorry,” Noah joked.
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He then concluded the segment by urging the Daily Show audience to “call your dad tonight, tell him you never truly appreciated what a good dad he was, and thank him for never announcing on national television that he wishes he could bang you, unlike Donald Trump.”