Stephen Colbert used his Monday night monologue on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert to celebrate what he described as a historic wave of “No Kings” protests across the United States and beyond. The comedian praised both their size and their creativity, especially in reference to another late-night host.
Colbert returned on Monday night after an extended break, feeling refreshed and recharged. The No Kings protests were a perfect way to welcome him back to The Late Show, and the host was eager to share highlights with his audience.
Colbert opened by emphasizing just how widespread Saturday’s demonstrations were, rattling off major cities including New York City, Chicago, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, and Boston. The host singled out Boston in particular, joking that footage from the march there looked like it could have doubled as “the annual Wahlberg family Palm Sunday Punchin’ Munch.”
The protests weren’t limited to the U.S., either. Colbert pointed to rallies across Europe, including a notable turnout in London. “A ‘No Kings’ march in London must have been awkward,” he said, imagining demonstrators clarifying their stance to King Charles III: “What we want: no kings! Metaphorically. In reality, our guy’s okay.”
As expected, Colbert found great enjoyment in the protest signs, rattling off favorites like “Does this ass make my country look small?” and “The Turd Reich,” while giving a special nod to one sign reading “Jimmy Kimmel Live! has higher ratings than you,” which earned his enthusiastic approval before joking that Jimmy Kimmel's sidekick Guillermo was the one holding the sign.
The sign is especially relevant after President Trump unleashed yet another attack on Kimmel, calling him a "loser" with low ratings just last week. But just as Kimmel has been quick to defend his fellow late-night hosts, Colbert was more than willing to spotlight the protester's dig at Trump through Kimmel.
Still, it was one visual in particular that left the biggest impression on the Late Show host: an inflatable depiction of Trump defacing the Constitution. Colbert called it “spectacular craftsmanship,” imagining future generations asking how their elders resisted “the rise of American fascism,” only to be told it involved building “an angry balloon that looks like it’s pooping fire.”
For someone who spends night after night pushing back against the current administration while trying to make it entertaining, Colbert's appreciation for the creativity on display at No Kings protests must be sincere. No one has a better idea of what it takes to parody and satirize the White House than the Late Show star, so whoever is behind that balloon should feel honored.