Stephen Colbert spends 7 minutes on Kristi Noem's dog story and doesn't hold back
By Matt Moore
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Stephen Colbert's monologue didn't hold anything back in response to a shocking story from South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem. The politician's story about shooting her dog led The Late Show to rip Noem for seven minutes.
In an excerpt from her upcoming memoir, Noem voluntarily told the story of her 14-month-old puppy, Cricket. Apparently, the governor was unhappy with Cricket's skills as a hunting dog. And when Cricket attacked chickens on a farm, Noem decided the only option was to shoot and kill the dog.
Naturally, Noem's story sparked outrage and immediate backlash. Stephen Colbert joined the chorus of critics on Monday night. His monologue was almost exclusively dedicated to destroying Noem over the dog story.
"If you like puppies, you're not going to like Kristi Noem," Colbert's monologue began. The comedian joked that Noem killing her dog sounds bad, but it's actually much worse.
Colbert went on to blast Noem's claims that Cricket was "untrainable" at 14 months old. "But whom among us hasn't seen a dog running through the fields, not a care in the world, and thought 'you deserve to die,'" he added.
And although Colbert's monologue was almost exclusively aimed at Noem, he couldn't resist getting in a punchline at Donald Trump's expense. It came as the late-night TV host recapped Noem's story about Cricket attacking chickens. "Governor Nome, if you don't like untrainable animals that wolf down chicken, I have bad news about your party's nominee." The Late Show then cut to the famous picture of Trump with a bucket of KFC chicken.
Colbert continued to go after Noem over the revelation that she didn't just stop at Cricket. The politican's memoir also describes how she shot and killed the family goat. The goat was nasty, mean, and smelly, according to Noem. However, Colbert described it as simply "a goat."
Colbert's monologue started by mentioning that Noem was reportedly on the short list of Donald Trump's VP candidates. But that dream is all but dead thanks to Noem's dog story. But there's probably part of Colbert that wishes Noem got a bigger spotlight, if only so he could fill up more monologues like last night.