Stephen Colbert mocks Jeff Sessions with Keebler Elf cookie

via CBS
via CBS /

After learning how Jeff Sessions was interviewed by Robert Mueller in the Russia investigation, Stephen Colbert used a cookie to imagine how it went.

If only the real Jeff Sessions were that sweet!

On last night’s Late Show, host Stephen Colbert spoke about the ongoing investigation into Donald Trump’s campaign ties to Russia. The latest development is that Bob Mueller has interviewed Sessions. But, as Colbert explains, it doesn’t seem likely that this would gotten Mueller anywhere.

Miming how the interview went, Colbert pulls out a Keebler Elf cookie, using it to speak for Sessions. “I do declare, Mr. Mueller, you are wasting your time interviewing an upstanding citizen such as myself,” Colbert says in his best Jeff Sessions voice. “There are real criminals out there: grandmas smoking weed for their glaucoma! I big you good day, sir!”

The reason this news is huge, according to Colbert, is that it’s the first time Mueller has interviewed a member of Trump’s Cabinet. Although, as Colbert jokes, it won’t be the last. “After all, the motto of the Special Counsel’s office is, ‘Gotta catch ’em all!'”

To really picture how the meeting really went, Colbert then plays a montage of Sessions answering various questions with the same vague response. “I do not recall,” is what Sessions seems to answer most questions with. “I do not recall it. I may be just a cookie, but I have the memory of a goldfish,” Colbert says, giving a Goldfish cracker to his Keebler Elf cookie. Sadly, this mockery is probably not far off from what actually happened in that meeting room…

You can watch the bit in the video below.

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For more from Colbert, tune in to new episodes of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM EST on CBS.