The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Recap – 3-9

It’s not often that Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens director J.J. Abrams receives second billing on a late night talk show, but that was the case Tuesday night. Colbert had a strong night of guests when he welcomed famed actress Helen Mirren, Abrams and musical guest DMA’S. Since the primaries are in full swing, Colbert has been spending plenty of time poking fun at both parties. Here’s the full Tuesday recap.

Monologue

Colbert kicked off the monologue by greeting the crowd and band leader Jon Batiste by saying that not all news was bad news out there and the world is a solid place. He spoke about spring training beginning and the news that a baseball bat flew out of a player’s hand and toward and 8-year boy’s head. He was saved by his father. The photo and footage have been going viral for the last few days. Colbert joked about the dad’s massive forearm and how it was so much bigger than his own standard forearm. He even rolled up his sleeves to compare.

End of monologue joke: “A new study suggests that binge watching shows can cause depression. That explains the new saying, ‘Netflix and weep into a pint of ice cream.”

To the Desk

Colbert shared a story about when he used to play baseball in little league. Taught by his older bothers, he used to let the bat fly out of his hands when he was at the plate. His bat even struck a kid one time, which caused him to get his swing under control.

Moving onto politics, Colbert asked the crowd if they were “feeling the Bern.” That got him into the topic of Bernie admitting to smoking marijuana. He says he only smoked twice. Colbert isn’t buying it, citing Bernie’s cover of a reggae socialist anthem.

Hungry For Power Games

Someone dropped out of the race, so it’s time for Colbert’s most popular and signature bit: The Hungry for Power Games. Colbert absolutely skewered Ben Carson’s failed campaign from his sleepy demeanor to not being able to win a single state in the primaries. He’s been an easy target all campaign season; arguably easier than Donald Trump. Check out the whole segment below.

The Guests

Helen Mirren

Helen Mirren was on The Late Show to promote the upcoming military thriller Eye in the Sky. Helen graced the stage and greeted Stephen with a sensual kiss. It didn’t look like Colbert was expecting at in the slightest. She said if she didn’t do it there, she’d never get to do it and added that she’d been dreaming of it for 15 years. Colbert tried to regain his composure and conduct the rest of the interview. He asked her about being a dame and British knighthood in general. Helen said the title doesn’t come with anything special. Eventually, the two talked about the British monarchy. Apparently, Helen Mirren is not a monarchist. She respects the current Queen Elizabeth, but she is not a monarchist. She’s met the queen several times and says the Queen always asks, “where do you come from” and then doesn’t listen to the answer.

After a quick commercial break, Colbert brought out a tray of tea to make the set seem as British as possible. Over tea, the two talked about Eye in the Sky and the military in general. Mirren hopes the movie sparks a conversation in the audience about military boundaries. The two had one more kiss to conclude the interview.

J.J. Abrams

Colbert greeted Abrams to congratulate him on being a gifted story teller. Abrams complained that he was now on the spot. He shared a story that his wife actually told him that it was enough with the lens flare, and that actually got him to stop abusing the lens flare effect.

He was there to promote 10 Cloverfield Lane and the production process. He was able to keep it a secret by naming it something different and than the eventual title. The interview concluded with some chat about Star Wars. Colbert congratulated him on the huge success. Abrams said that it was a relief that it was so well received.

The night concluded musical performance from DMA’S. Stay tuned for Wednesday’s show when Colbert welcomes Sally Field and Jarrod Carmichael.